Battle for your ground, it's yours...won't you take it

I am who I am...because i have not love
I believe what i believe...because i have not love
I do not understand...because i have not love
I hurt and am hurt...because i have not love

When was the last time you realized you had no idea what love was?
Probably right after someone hurt you, probably right after someone told you that they didn't like you (as a result of you telling them that you were sure you loved them). Maybe it was right after a friend left, and you don't miss them, or you left, and you don't feel missed.

Try to remember the last time you felt truly loved...
Can you explain it for me? Can you define for me what love is. What it feels like, what it tastes like, smells like, what it does for me, what it does for you, what it is so that when i see it i can grab ahold of it and never let it go...

This is what I wonder...I won't say i believe it, because i don't know...But i do wonder, right now, sitting here, i wonder... Do we even know what love is? I can with a slightness in my heart say yes, for very few situations, and with an almost assuredness in my heart, i can say no, for many situations.

My love for my family is love, i know this because it's the strongest thing i've ever felt....and it pains me when it's broken in anyways...particularly my brother...I'm not sure there is anyone i have ever loved more, and who i know beyond a shadow of a doubt, and have never doubted that he loves me... And sadly, almost every other person in the world, if not all, that i have known and have believed i've loved, and believed have loved me, there has been a time, if not more than one, that i have doubted their love for me.

So, all my fears, and all my worries and all my quiverings can rest on one fact...i must find love, i must find what love is. i must find out what this love is, because if i don't, my life is lost.

"If i speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If i have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If i give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

How many of us can, by this statement, by this set of scripture, how many can say "I am nothing"...or at least, on my way to being nothing? I can. I look at this scripture and can honestly with all my heart state that I am on my way to being nothing, because I do not have love. Why do i say this? Not to depress, not to hurt, not to pain or change ones viewpoint on their lives and the love they have. I believe that love grows, i believe that love is strong, and that we do know what love is, but we don't know fully, and that's what is our problem.

And i can say this because :

Love is Pastient
Love is Kind
Love is Not Jealous, Does Not Envy
Love is Not Arrogant
Love does not act unbecomingly, does not act rudely
Love does not seek it's own
Love is not provoked
Love does not take into account a wrong suffered
Love thinks no evil
Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness / iniquity
Love rejoices in the truth
Love bears all things
Love believes all things
Love hopes all things
Love endures all things
Love never fails

So, if that is what love is, and there's sentances and statements in there i don't even understand (ie. love does not seek it's own), then i guess i better get into this thing, and figure out what love is.

IF I HAVE NOT LOVE, I AM NOTHING...

how powerful is that... Love is the base for all we are.

God is Love, and we are created in His image. The scriptures don't say God has love, or loves, or that He even has ALL the love, it says He IS love. If God IS love, then God = Love. If i am created in Loves image, i must look and be much like love... yes / no?

If i've ever seen something worth studying, this is it.
So, here at lifeandwords, i'm going to try and spend time on each of these points, what makes up love. The deffinition of Love that comes from 1 Corinthians 13. It's worth it. Because if i can learn to love, truly love, then i can learn to cast out fear...the fear in me, and the fear in you...

Today begins a new journey. A new path. A path towards what may be, a path towards what is to come and what has been promised. If there is to be life, then there must be freedom, and freedom must come, or all is lost.

God, I give you my life. As tomorrow i start to hit up the gym (yup, you heard me right, i'm scared shitless...but man, if i can learn love, then i might have a fighting chance)...as i turn towards a path i have not traveled, but taken a few steps and failed in the past. I turn to you, because you are where my help comes from, you are where my security must lie. My body does not make who i am, but my body can send me to heaven alot quicker than i want, and hold me back from completing all you have for me and all i want to do.

I have more life to live than i am currently living...

God give me grace, give me peace, let your mercy and love reign down on me, because i know this will be a battle that can take my life and drive a sword deeper into me than i've ever felt. I also know that this is a battle i can walk out of, ontop. I can walk through this valley, and come out ontop of a mountain, high and glorious, standing in the sun, standing before my maker, living the life You intended for me to live. Let my life be a sacrifice, and let my sacrifice bring glory to your name.

All the glory, all the honour, all the love in all the world and all of what i am, i lay down before You...

Your Kingdom come, Your will be done...Here...In my life, on this earth, as you have already designed and already completed in heaven, where time and space play no role...