completeness

Such an interesting word. Complete. It can be linked to so many different parts of our lives; our job, our love, our relationships, our play, our hobbies, the way we do things, the way we react, the way we feel we succeed. It's interesting, but finishing the kitchen/dining room (yes, we're done painting it..just need a few added pieces) shows me that life is such a long process. And there is this driving force in all of us that wants to get to completion, living a live of completion, and mostly in who we are. I'm sitting here thinking about all the things i've done that were supposed to improve my life, and all the other things i've done because people told me that was the way to improve my life. And not so many of them have brought me anywhere near being complete. Now i don't honestly think anyone is fully complete. Life is like a house, you finish (not the people) one thing and end up noticing something else you need to do, and it's a meticulous, time consuming process. all we set out to do on the weekend was paint some walls, and it started at cleaning, re-arranging everything, looking in the dark places and the light places, the dirty places and the sticky places, and cleaning it all out, so that the new paint could be applied. We could have easily just painted over the dirt, not moved anything, done a 'half ass job', but instead we moved everything away from where we wanted to work, took time to clean, took time to lay down a primer so the application of the paint would stay and cover well, and did 2 coats....We learn so many things that just slide off the walls of our lives. Someone tells me a great new way to live, and if i'm not in the position of receiving that news it slides off, it doesn't adhear to my life.
I want to be walking towards completeness, in every area of my life. You look at your job, walk in mumbling and grumbling and complaining and your walking in without your walls clean, without the obsticles moved out of the way to learn what it is you need to learn, you leave and the things of the day just slide off and all your left with is the dirty mangy walls you had before, but now there are added finger prints of the boss yelling at you, the secretary lookin' so fine you can hardly resist takin' her home with you. Whatever the case may be, we end up not learning, not growing, but staying where we are. Living a life of completeness is feeling alive in the situations that get ya down if you aren't ready for them. Living a life of completeness is paying attention to the things around you, your relationships (cultivating them, nourishing them, feeding them), your job (taking it full storm, putting your heart into it, and if it's something you can't find the heart for, you are in the wrong line of work, and you need to search your heart to find what it is you long to do, there is something and it's there, it's there waiting to be found. doing what you love to do, and ontop of that getting paid for it, there is no greater thing, it's about finding satisfaction in the work you do, or finding the work that will bring you satisfaction), your life (finding and connecting to a God that you can really love, and that you can really understand, putting time into understanding what you believe, understanding what you live for, understanding who God really is), so many other aspects of our lives fall into the categories of needing to be complete, or at least moving towards completion.

living a life of completion is living a life of change. Seeing one thing complete, and realizing you need to move onto something else, not forgeting the completion you've seen in your life. We easily forget the things that have happened, the good things, the things that have brough us life and hope, love and comfort...we need to hold onto those things because some days that is all we have left to hold onto at all. Ahh but to feel alive, even for a moment of the day. walking from outside after finishing a smoke, into a freshly painted room, a new picture on the wall, clean counters, clean cupboards, the freezer in a better spot, the table in a better spot, clean floor, new lighting, it brings a sense of joy and excitement for all the things you have in your mind to do. It started with a thought "let's make this place a place we WANT to live in" and so we started, not 3 months later, not a year later, but the next day, rented a truck spent the money and did it.
.........now i'm realizing i need to say "let's make this life a life i WANT to be living..."