It's incredible when you follow the instinct in your heart what happens. I've felt for a good 2 months i was in the wrong job, it wasn't right and it wasn't everything that God had for me, everyday i felt this uncanny urge to quit my job. During the day it was just work, and somehow i had this way of getting through it for a while, but i would go home at night and feel from the moment i got home to the moment i fell asleep that i was in the wrong thing, that my job just wasn't right. Then i get to a point that i can't handle it, i get sick one day and the next day i'm unable to motivate myself for work, and still feeling a touch ill i call in, the next day (third day sick) i go into the doctor and he tells me i need two more days off. After that point work was killing me..not slowly like someone would write a song about, but killing me damn fast. And it got to a point where everyday i would be debating whether or not i should quit my job. How do you live with that stress and uncertainty of life on your shoulders at EVERY moment?
and everyone yyou talk to means well, incredibly well, but their advice is all very practical, and you are fighting with an 'unpractical, fully spiritual, not-about-money' point of your life. It was a HUGE fight, everyday wondering if i was in the wrong spot, wondering if i was fooling myself every morning geting up and working for something i couldn't believe in.
So, this past week, i call in sick on wednesday, not cause i'm sick, but cause i can't go into work, i can't get myself to do it. I sit at home all day debating on whether or not to keep my job. everything practical was at the forefront of my mind, i went out for lunch with my 'rents' on the sunday before and they fed me the practical side of life, "You need to work cause it's just what you do"...well life hasn't been making so much sense in my mind since i've been wanting to follow my heart.
well thursday morning i decided, against everything 'practical', to quit my job...called my manager and said those much anticipated words "i don't think this company is working for me, i'm handing in my resignation." i was expecting a "we need 2 weeks notice." or something of the sort. well theyh just say "ok, come in with a letter of resignation and we'll get your last cheque out to you with your record of employment." so, it was alot easier than i thought. And now i feel the most peace i've felt in a long time, months even...probably within the last year i haven't felt this much peace and that i'm actually following God for the first time..in a long time..probably since i promised him i would come to school in toronto and actually followed through with it... So i feel like i'm walkin' in the right direction...debt right behind me and my future ahead of me...... just hoping i walk into a good situation...which i figure i will
heading for PR in three days, i can't wait..vacation time is good time, but i'd love to go to a wedding sometime soon and just enjoy it lol... i end up doing stuff at all the weddings i've been going to lately...this one i'm singing at..i'm an usher at the next one...was best man/singer/mc for the last one....wow..gotta just get married myself....sure that's busier..but that's ok...so many weddings and i'm still single....i gotta get hooked up with someone soon or i'm gonna snap...naw..not that bad...oh wait..YES, yes it is
seattle lost again today...not impressed..sure they were playing New England and i wasn't entirely banking on a win, however, after last weeks horrible upset i was hoping they would pick it up and win..but guess not
i got a whole lot nothin' more to say...laterz
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